Life Lessons

Posted by Arfan at Saturday, September 03, 2005

  • Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • If you have to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved, and will never achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
  • There's a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
  • People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  • And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle as His messenger.
  • You should not confuse your career with your life, because if you have a career that probably means you have no life.
  • No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
  • Never lick a steak knife.
  • Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
  • "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
  • You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

 

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